Questions people
ask most often.

No. The opposite. The norm that makes women unsafe is the same norm that wears men out: never doubt, always strong, solve everything on your own. We aren’t saying men are the problem, but that they have inherited a role that no longer fits anyone. What a man does remains his responsibility; where that role comes from isn’t.

Because it isn’t about blame but about the room you’re standing in. Three in four men don’t endorse the strictest rules, but almost every one of them thinks he is the only one who feels that way. So nobody says anything, and the norm stays in place. One man who doesn’t laugh along lets the rest see that they aren’t alone. That’s the whole mechanism.

Three things that need no programme: message one man you haven’t really spoken to in a while; don’t laugh along once when a joke goes too far; and say one thing out loud that you would normally swallow. Together they take you less than half an hour. They’re set out in full on the Start with yourself page.

Recognising it is the moment when something can still be done. Call Veilig Thuis (Safe at Home) on 0800 2000, free and around the clock, anonymously too, and also if you’re the one worried about your own behaviour. Your GP can refer you to forensic mental health care, where clinicians deal with this every day. That isn’t a confession, it’s stepping in before things go wrong.

Call Veilig Thuis (Safe at Home) on 0800 2000. You can call just for advice, and anonymously. In immediate danger: 112. After sexual assault or rape, however long ago it was: Centrum Seksueel Geweld (Centre for Sexual Violence), 0800 0188. Thinking about suicide, or worried that someone else is: 113 or 0800 0113, day and night.

That figure comes from The Man Box 2024 by Jesuit Social Services, among men aged 18 to 45 in Australia. About one in four personally endorses the strictest rules, so roughly three in four do not. At the same time, 36 per cent of those same men did feel social pressure to live up to those rules. That difference is the whole point: more men feel the norm than believe in it. Important: a comparable measurement among Dutch men does not yet exist. That baseline is exactly what the Alliance wants to fund first.

No. We take seriously why that voice lands, and we reject its answer. The manosphere sees something real: boys who feel rudderless and are heard nowhere. But the same voice that tells you that you matter says, in the same breath, that she is worth less. That isn’t a side issue, it’s the business model. You don’t win those boys back by moralising, you win them back with a better story.

No, and that’s an important difference. Bruk, Scholl and Bless (2018) showed that people judge their own vulnerability more harshly than someone else’s: when a friend asks for help you call it courage, when you do it yourself you think you come across as weak. So what holds men back is usually not what happens, but what they expect to happen. We explain that nuance on the evidence page.

The analysis rests on existing research into precarious manhood, the Man Box, pluralistic ignorance and bystander mobilisation. The evidence page sets out the key figures with their sources, and four explicit nuances: what you must not read into the pyramid of violence, what we do and don’t claim about the dating market, that masculinity norms aren’t the only cause of violence, and that the colour wheel is a metaphor and not a count.

The norm that traps men costs employers money: absenteeism, turnover, and teams where nobody dares contradict the boss. Your best people are often the ones who keep up the act longest, until they break down or resign. The page for organisations sets out what taking part involves; the Alliance plan of action describes the phasing and what partners get back.

Probably, and in a way that is easier to account for than most corporate causes. It sits in the social pillar of ESG and maps onto SDG 5, gender equality. What sets it apart from many other destinations is that you contribute to prevention rather than aftercare, and that it affects your own staff as much as society: the same norm that makes women unsafe keeps men at work quiet about what is troubling them. You can join the Alliance as a partner, donate as an organisation, or put it to work internally.

Not yet. ANBI status (the Dutch tax status for public benefit organisations) has been applied for but not granted, and until it is, gifts are not deductible, for companies either. We would rather say so up front. As soon as the status is in place it will be stated on this site and in the foundation’s reporting.

That depends on the level you join at. The action plan sets out three levels, from strategic founding partner to network partner, with what you contribute and what you get back at each. Contributing does not have to mean money: media, space, people or expertise count just as much. Get in touch and we will work it through with you.

RealStrength is an initiative of The Nami Foundation. To keep the relationship between the foundation and Nami BV, the executing agency, clean, four safeguards apply: the foundation's board has three members and none of them has a financial interest in the BV; rates are set in advance, tested against market rates and approved by the steering group; the party that executes does not decide on its own assignment or fee; and the annual accounts receive an auditor's statement, with a public impact report that also states the fee paid to the executing organisation. Board composition and accountability are published on stichtingnami.nl.

Not yet. ANBI status (the Dutch public benefit organisation status) has been applied for but not yet granted; for as long as that’s the case, donations aren’t deductible. We’ll say so on the donation page as soon as that changes.

No. The interactive parts in the chapters, such as which feelings you push away and what you would do, are not processed by us. Your answers stay in your own browser, are not sent and are not stored. We never see them.

The campaign launches in the autumn of 2026. The site and the documents are already here, so you can read the story and think along with us. If you want to hear when it launches, you can sign up via the Get involved page.